Saturday, June 20, 2009

The Rehearsal that Makes a Lifetime Difference

The Rehearsal that Makes a Lifetime Difference

Within every human being exists a propensity for greatness. The gifts may vary, and the greatness may live out in a vast array of alternatives—say from carpentry to rocket science—but the gift that gives one true self-respect, lifts the spirit from “same old, same old,” resides within. It is our ability to do our very best with our talents in every thing we do. This potential resides within each one of us—but if so, then why is it so often denied?

Every individual essentially has a self-representation that is rehearsed and eventually actualized. The process begins by fantasizing at a very early age. We fantasize a script, perhaps one of those from some Hollywood production. We begin rehearsing it, and we either abandon it to take up a new one or practice it until we role-play that script as who we are. Practicing the script sooner or later automates the behavior. Our imprinting environment plays a significant role in the alternative scripts available to us. If the parents are uncaring and abusive, so are the children, and so forth. If warmth and friendliness lead to embarrassment, then cold and aloof compensate. If honesty gets us into trouble, then deception becomes a defense strategy, and so forth.

It is much more complicated than expressed here, but simply, it is also just this way. In fact, every one of us divides ourselves among four essential views of ourselves. These four faces include the following:
Our actual self.
Our ideal self.
Our ought-to-be self.
Our desired self.
These categories were originally developed by P. A. D. Singer to show how the different selves conflict with each other.1 I will use it differently.

Most of us are aware of a so-called actual self. This is the self that has failed in ways we often will not share with others. This is the private self. This self holds the thoughts we wish we did not have, the acts we wish we had not done, our beliefs about our worth, our attractiveness, and so forth. It is the self of our secrets and our ambitions. It is the self that most try to change in some way or another at some time in their life—perhaps even perpetually.

The actual self pales by comparison to our ideal self. The ideal self is often a construct built by our culture. This self would live a perfect life—without error and therefore without room for growth.

Then there is our “ought-to-be self.” This is the self full of all our learned “shoulds” and “oughts.” This self differs from our ideal self in the sense that many of the oughts are not ours—they are the oughts of our culture, our society—but deep down inside they are not ours. Sometimes these oughts are the result of rules that make little or no sense to us; sometimes the oughts are of codependent negotiations such as those implied when Mom said things like, “If you loved me, you would not behave that way,” or “If you loved me, you would do what I said,” and so forth. Still, even when one recognizes the source and the nature of the ought relationship from which the oughts themselves arise, they often persist.

Finally, there is the desired self. Somewhere among all of our other selves is a self that we believe we could be. This is the self we long for, especially when we are young and planning our future. It is also the source of much discontent in our later life if the desires have not been fulfilled—and they rarely, if ever, are.

The ought-to-be self, desired self, and ideal self share certain commonalities, but they also differ remarkably. There is psychic tension among them and in their totality, substantial tension between them and our so-called actual self.

Now, there’s one more thing I wish to add before continuing. The actual self is seldom the true actual self. The actual self is the self of self-perception and therefore is complete with every believed limitation that accompanies one’s private self-perception together with every defense adjustment our mechanisms have created to protect our self image or ego.

Okay, all of this is accomplished while we are still very young. In time we gain the wisdom and insight to become familiar with this maturation process and a myriad of other operations that function in our culture, our homes, etc. to produce socially acceptable membership and behavior. Using one of Shakespeare’s metaphors, life is a stage where we play our various parts, perhaps it’s time for a new rehearsal. Indeed, change, improvement, true self-actualization and so forth, all require that we create a new character. Using our power of imagination and consciously choosing the role playing model we will rehearse, will greatly assist and facilitate any change.

Therefore, it literally behooves all of us to watch those conversation exchanges that take place in our head as well as every other aspect of our “rehearsing” behavior. To experience our best we must practice/rehearse our best at all levels of our being. It works—but it can also be much easier said than done. Still, life’s cornucopia of joy awaits those willing to make the effort.

Bibliography

Singer, Peter Albert David. 2001. Writings on an Ethical Life. New York: Harper Perennial.

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Friday, February 20, 2009

Choices and Confusion

Some of you have asked me what to do about wrong decisions and here is one answer:

More on Confusion or so-called Choices

It is easy to make a “wrong” decision—or at least to think that we have. Our struggles however very often become our strengths, as illustrated in my book, Choices and Illusions. I therefore prefer to think about making the decisions that I wish to direct my life in the way I wish for my life to be directed as opposed to worrying about decisions that are already a “done deal.” With this said, there are some things that can guide us if we are willing to change. Change requires becoming aware of the “whys” and “whats” behind our actions.

Sometimes we make choices that are designed to either help us fit in or that are anti-authoritarian and perhaps even defiant. These are not true choices for they are in the category of either or? When our choices only oppose each other, they should always be suspect. Where the world is a duality, good and bad, yin and yang, and so forth, the notion that between the thesis and the antithesis exist a synthesis should be our goal. The so-called middle path or middle pillar is where we often find our best alternative.

Choices we make have consequences and some can last a lifetime. Indris Shaw tells a Sufi story about the mouse and the elephant in his book, The Commanding Self, that makes this point clear. It seems that a young mouse fell dearly in love with an elephant. The elephant and the mouse soon sought permission to marry. Their respective parents, their entire families and friends warned against the marriage. The council and warnings fell on deaf ears as the mouse and the elephant decided to go ahead and marry anyway. On their wedding night the elephant suddenly died. The moral of the story—the mouse thought the decision was one thing when in fact it was the decision to spend the rest of its life digging a hole.

Many decisions can seem in retrospect to have been “digging holes” that we somehow had to get out of. However, a moments serious thought and the realization that to change our life we must change our thinking and further, to dig out of that proverbial hole we must make wise choices. Wisdom is much more than knowledge. Knowledge is defined by Webster as, “the fact or condition of knowing something with familiarity gained through experience or association (2) : acquaintance with or understanding of a science, art, or technique b (1) : the fact or condition of being aware of something.” Wisdom requires understanding much more including what one does not know and possessing the faculty requisite to deciding between alternatives even if that means inventing a new alternative. It has been said by many that genius is simply a matter of seeing the same thing differently.

May wisdom accompany your every choice and may you realize your true unlimited potential in all things.

Eldon

CHOICES AND ILLUSIONS: HOW DID I GET WHERE I AM AND HOW DO I GET WHERE I WANT TO BE officially became a best seller in its second week following release. If you haven’t yet picked up your copy and/or you want a second copy for a friend, visit this URL for more information: http://www.choicesandillusions.com/specialoffer.html

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Thanks for the feedback!

This book came so highly recommended from so many individuals whom I respect that I couldn't imagine not reading it. I found the book fascinating. I've been a student of spirituality and science my whole life. I loved how the author made the concepts simple and yet very strongly tied them in with the spiritual viewpoint of life which isn't always as easy to grasp. The essence of the Universe and Universal law is the Law of Attraction and the way it is activated is through our thoughts. Mr. Taylor very clearly explains the process and why it works. And Mr. Taylor has found a way, through his many years of research and experience, to expedite that process. I personally know the power and 'magic' of affirmations. But I also know that it's not easy to keep your mind and attention on the affirmations we've chosen and the path we know we would like to direct ourselves to. Mr. Taylor has a line of tapes that compliment and support the concepts in his book. I believe, approached with an open mind, and a willing heart......that there isn't anything you can't accomplish. I plan to purchase several of the tapes and additional copies of the book for myself and for loved ones. R.R.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Some Choices that Are Really Illusions

Some Choices that Are Really Illusions

In my book Choices and Illusions, the idea that many so-called choices made by most are indeed between alternatives that have been scripted during our maturation. As such, we choose to do A instead of B or C but never consider that there is an entire alphabet of possibilities. We are blinded by our labels, definitions, thinking patterns and so forth. It is like we live in “thought boxes” that delimit our alternatives. Ellen Langer defines much of this “blindness” as context bound. In one of her examples, a friend comes to our door and explains that they are participating in a scavenger hunt and if we can give them a 4-foot by 7-foot slab of wood that they can win $10,000. They also offer to split the money with us. We think, "I don't have a woodpile," so we say, "sorry" and close our 4 by 7 wood door.

Our business is in large about our InnerTalk technology. The basis of this technology rests in changing our thoughts in ways that get us out of those “thought boxes.” This is done with positive scripts designed by mutually exclusive logic to eliminate the old negative programming. By design, it is more than affirmations but using the conscious mind to reprogram can be very helpful as well. Sometimes it seems futile and that is simply because our subconscious can and does often argue with those positive affirmations we choose to use. For example, many people have experienced using some prosperity affirmation like, “I am going to earn a million dollars,” only to have some self talk speak back something like, “Sure, what are you going to do—rob a bank?”

Arguable much of the benefit one gains from InnerTalk comes because it speaks directly to the subconscious, priming your self-talk. Still there are a host of ole negative scripts that you can watch and work on with or without an InnerTalk program. They’re scripts that trap you. Here are some simple examples:

Look out for number one.
Get evener not even.
My ______ is better than yours. (government, language, religion, etc.)
I have the only right way—or the only right truth.
Money is the root of all evil.
Charity begins at home.
Waste not—want not. (Clean up your plate).
The scraps go to the losers.
Life is not fair. (Life sucks and then you die).
The tiger is the last in the jungle to starve.
If it’s not broke don’t fix it.
You’re lucky---look at the less fortunate.

While sometimes enticing, the problem with all of these scripts is that they subtract from someone. In Choices, I refer to this as the subtraction game. Subtracting from someone is at the very least, the basis for subtracting from self. It is a dangerous and eventually self-sabotaging precedent.

For years I have taught that the “life sucks and then you die” stuff was insane, at least for those that wish to live long, happy and prosperous lives. I like something Louis Hay said the other day on Oprah, “I love life and life loves me!” If you really would like to see some magic in your life from just a few words, try starting your day with a “Thank you” and meeting each moment with the attitude, “I love life and life loves me!”

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Chicken and Eagle

Eldon,

I just watched one of your short videos (from your book, Choices and Illusions) on YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/user/progressiveawareness). How inspiring! I feel like I want to go out and start helping people. I've been walking around for so long like a "chicken", and want to soar like an Eagle.

Thanks,

T.G.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Love your letters--thank you!

Hello All,

I really do love reading your letters and comments on my newest book, Choices and Illusions. It is hard to choose which ones stand out the most so I simply will not. Still, I have been asked why I don’t post more often to my book blog and/or at least post comments from readers. To that end, here are two of my favorites from this past week or so. Hope you enjoy!

Eldon

Dear Sir,

At the age of 58 years young I have just got the message, I met my second wife eight years ago and she is very spiritual, with concepts to life that I could simply not get. "What you think you create"

I come from a working class background with all the good things in life, like great love and admiration from parents, not a very good basic education, but enough to help me get by in my work and further develop. I grew up like thousands of others thinking the only way in life was to work hard, ethically and give a good day work (and more) for your pay. This mind sent kept me in continual work.

However, I came to a turning point in life where I had put everything into my family over a period of 22 years, providing a very nice house, private education for my twins from the early age through to University. This gave me great pleasure because I grew up believing I was never smart enough to go to University. Then my wife divorced me because the only way I knew to earn money enough to maintain the family’s life style was to take on overseas assignments in remote areas of the world under difficult conditions with no quality of life.

My new wife when we met started to tell me all the things of the universe and basically to an Engineer it sounded like she was off with the fairies.

Then She bought your book Choices and Illusions, so I read it with an open mind, and I have decided that I need to read it again to further understand the Mind issues that did not really understand,
"What you think is what you create" Wow this was too big for me to understand,
a) Because I wanted to understand, and I wanted it to work for me, but I had the obvious doubts,
b) What if my thoughts are for the wrong thing like self-gain just money like winning the lotto when it’s not my turn?
c) I also had the mixed negative thoughts that maybe it would not work; the tennis game went on in my mind and did not stop.

Now I have it, I have wealth, I have love, I'm moving into a million dollar home, and the most beautiful thing about what I'm doing I'm helping others to do the same. I'm even helping people that tried to tell me how the Universe worked several years ago because they did not really put full belief into it.

People need to read your book, write down questions, doubts and be perfectly honest with them selves and if there is anything they don't understand ask, and then start the process of working the mind in a positive way.

My system works because I'm genuinely grateful for everything in life when I wake up in a morning and the events of the day.

John H, thank you


Hi Eldon!

I am amazed by all of the wonderful information that you offer on your site. There is something for everyone! Your book "Choices & Illusions...How did I get where I am and how do I get to where I want to be" is exceptional and inspiring. I have had times in my life where I sat back and thought...how did I ever get here? I realized it was my best thinking that got me there and my thinking needed to change.

I am a recovering alcoholic and addict (been sober 20 years now) and essential parts of recovery are learning to change our negative thought patterns into positive thinking, finding a Higher Power, mediation and finding a new way of living.

All of your information designed to help is perfect for those in recovery. Many people in recovery are constantly seeking self-improvement information.
Amy “AJ” Crowell, MBA
Author: Loved Back to Life

Love your letters--thank you!

Hello All,

I really do love reading your letters and comments on my newest book, Choices and Illusions. It is hard to choose which ones stand out the most so I simply will not. Still, I have been asked why I don’t post more often to my book blog and/or at least post comments from readers. To that end, here are two of my favorites from this past week or so. Hope you enjoy!

Eldon

Dear Sir,

At the age of 58 years young I have just got the message, I met my second wife eight years ago and she is very spiritual, with concepts to life that I could simply not get. "What you think you create"

I come from a working class background with all the good things in life, like great love and admiration from parents, not a very good basic education, but enough to help me get by in my work and further develop. I grew up like thousands of others thinking the only way in life was to work hard, ethically and give a good day work (and more) for your pay. This mind sent kept me in continual work.

However, I came to a turning point in life where I had put everything into my family over a period of 22 years, providing a very nice house, private education for my twins from the early age through to University. This gave me great pleasure because I grew up believing I was never smart enough to go to University. Then my wife divorced me because the only way I knew to earn money enough to maintain the family’s life style was to take on overseas assignments in remote areas of the world under difficult conditions with no quality of life.

My new wife when we met started to tell me all the things of the universe and basically to an Engineer it sounded like she was off with the fairies.

Then She bought your book Choices and Illusions, so I read it with an open mind, and I have decided that I need to read it again to further understand the Mind issues that did not really understand,
"What you think is what you create" Wow this was too big for me to understand,
a) Because I wanted to understand, and I wanted it to work for me, but I had the obvious doubts,
b) What if my thoughts are for the wrong thing like self-gain just money like winning the lotto when it’s not my turn?
c) I also had the mixed negative thoughts that maybe it would not work; the tennis game went on in my mind and did not stop.

Now I have it, I have wealth, I have love, I'm moving into a million dollar home, and the most beautiful thing about what I'm doing I'm helping others to do the same. I'm even helping people that tried to tell me how the Universe worked several years ago because they did not really put full belief into it.

People need to read your book, write down questions, doubts and be perfectly honest with them selves and if there is anything they don't understand ask, and then start the process of working the mind in a positive way.

My system works because I'm genuinely grateful for everything in life when I wake up in a morning and the events of the day.

John H, thank you


Hi Eldon!

I am amazed by all of the wonderful information that you offer on your site. There is something for everyone! Your book "Choices & Illusions...How did I get where I am and how do I get to where I want to be" is exceptional and inspiring. I have had times in my life where I sat back and thought...how did I ever get here? I realized it was my best thinking that got me there and my thinking needed to change.

I am a recovering alcoholic and addict (been sober 20 years now) and essential parts of recovery are learning to change our negative thought patterns into positive thinking, finding a Higher Power, mediation and finding a new way of living.

All of your information designed to help is perfect for those in recovery. Many people in recovery are constantly seeking self-improvement information.
Amy “AJ” Crowell, MBA
Author: Loved Back to Life


Love your letters--thank you!

Hello All,

I really do love reading your letters and comments on my newest book, Choices and Illusions. It is hard to choose which ones stand out the most so I simply will not. Still, I have been asked why I don’t post more often to my book blog and/or at least post comments from readers. To that end, here are two of my favorites from this past week or so. Hope you enjoy!

Eldon


Dear Sir,

At the age of 58 years young I have just got the message, I met my second wife eight years ago and she is very spiritual, with concepts to life that I could simply not get. "What you think you create"

I come from a working class background with all the good things in life, like great love and admiration from parents, not a very good basic education, but enough to help me get by in my work and further develop. I grew up like thousands of others thinking the only way in life was to work hard, ethically and give a good day work (and more) for your pay. This mind sent kept me in continual work.

However, I came to a turning point in life where I had put everything into my family over a period of 22 years, providing a very nice house, private education for my twins from the early age through to University. This gave me great pleasure because I grew up believing I was never smart enough to go to University. Then my wife divorced me because the only way I knew to earn money enough to maintain the family’s life style was to take on overseas assignments in remote areas of the world under difficult conditions with no quality of life.

My new wife when we met started to tell me all the things of the universe and basically to an Engineer it sounded like she was off with the fairies.

Then She bought your book Choices and Illusions, so I read it with an open mind, and I have decided that I need to read it again to further understand the Mind issues that did not really understand,
"What you think is what you create" Wow this was too big for me to understand,
a) Because I wanted to understand, and I wanted it to work for me, but I had the obvious doubts,
b) What if my thoughts are for the wrong thing like self-gain just money like winning the lotto when it’s not my turn?
c) I also had the mixed negative thoughts that maybe it would not work; the tennis game went on in my mind and did not stop.

Now I have it, I have wealth, I have love, I'm moving into a million dollar home, and the most beautiful thing about what I'm doing I'm helping others to do the same. I'm even helping people that tried to tell me how the Universe worked several years ago because they did not really put full belief into it.

People need to read your book, write down questions, doubts and be perfectly honest with them selves and if there is anything they don't understand ask, and then start the process of working the mind in a positive way.

My system works because I'm genuinely grateful for everything in life when I wake up in a morning and the events of the day.

John Hopson, thank you
Hi Eldon!

I am amazed by all of the wonderful information that you offer on your site. There is something for everyone! Your book "Choices & Illusions...How did I get where I am and how do I get to where I want to be" is exceptional and inspiring. I have had times in my life where I sat back and thought...how did I ever get here? I realized it was my best thinking that got me there and my thinking needed to change.

I am a recovering alcoholic and addict (been sober 20 years now) and essential parts of recovery are learning to change our negative thought patterns into positive thinking, finding a Higher Power, mediation and finding a new way of living.

All of your information designed to help is perfect for those in recovery. Many people in recovery are constantly seeking self-improvement information.
Amy “AJ” Crowell, MBA
Author: Loved Back to Life


Friday, June 20, 2008

The Happiness Club and Choices

It thrills me to hear from readers that they enjoyed Choices and Illusions. It is a real double pleasure when someone you admire and respect as already having it all finds your work helpful. Such is the case with Lionel Ketchian, founder of the Happiness Club. His work spans over two decades and has aided countless individuals in finding happiness. This is what Lionel recently wrote about Choices and Illusions.

I have read the book, loved it and recommend it. I have also written some articles about it that were published in the newspapers. Here’s a quote:

I recommend reading Eldon Taylor's book, Choices and Illusions. Reading Eldon's book has given me a new dimension to my life. I have been practicing forgiveness for over twenty years. This book has shown me a new pathway to freedom and happiness. That pathway is to let go of blaming others, no matter what.

In expanding my new practice, I have not only found liberation by letting go of blaming others, but I have also realized that I don't have to blame myself in the process.

I want to state a powerful and accurate quote from Choices and Illusions: "When you forgive, you essentially undo the ability to blame. If there is nothing to blame, then you are in charge of your response to outside stimuli. There is less room for anger without blame. There is less to fear when your 're empowered." The concept of giving up blame leads to a feeling of unconditional love for others. This is an important way to feel more like you are a contributing member of the human race. You begin to feel like you fit into the human family. You feel that you are important to the world, and the world returns the favor, by allowing you to experience being connected to others. You have joined the human family. You belong to it and it belongs to you.

Eldon shows you that you do not arrive at this state by your thinking but rather by becoming aware of your beliefs. Only by experiencing this powerful state can we break through our illusions and empower ourselves and thereby the world.

Happiness is a decision. Happiness is intentional and once you have decided that being happy is the way you want to choose to live, you can, once you understand your illusions. Eventually, with the practice of creating the proper thinking, you will use choiceless awareness to make happiness a living part of you.

Sharing Love, Peace and Happiness with you,
Lionel Ketchian
Founder of the Happiness Club
www.happinessclub.com

Thanks Lionel and thanks to all of you for the read.

P.S.
If you have not obtained your copy of Choices and Illusions, here is a link that contains some truly wonderful incentives when you get your copy:
http://progressiveawarenesspromotions.com/hayhousepromo/022608/